Narrated by : Africa
I still can not believe that im pregnant! I come home late from work trying to get everything in order. Ever since I announced that I was pregnant everyone started panicking. Laci says I have to take it slow but I just cant stop all this energy that I have lately. I remember Laci used to be tired but I am the opposite.
Lately Laci and I have been quite busy trying to figure out how to pay our bills. First we have to now pay taxes and we have to see how if Darius and Dominica are going to college. If they do decide to go then we literally have nothing set up for their tuition. I dont know how were going to do it but we have to. Laci says I should stop stressing out because it will all be fine. In the long run if in case they do go to college they can always apply for grants and loans. I just never planned correctly for this.
Lately I have been having so much nausea its ridiculous. I hate having the guile rise in my throat. I literally have to find the nearest bathroom within seconds.
Laci is working on her logic skill for her promotion. We have not even finished this room yet. This used to be Sasha and Nicolas' nursery but we decided to leave the room for our personal use. Laci needed to improve her skill so we decided to buy a chess set.
I want to teach Sasha and Nicolas how to play. Darius and Dominica just stare at me when I ask them if they want to learn. Darius is the first one that finds something else to do.
I woke up one morning with blood everywhere and I had the worst cramps. I woke Laci up and she rushed me to the ER. I knew something was wrong. All I kept thinking about was how to explain this to my kids. They saw me getting into the car and their faces were full of worry.
I ended up having a miscarriage. I didnt know what I did wrong but the doctor told me that I could have been under too much stress. He told me that if I wanted to try again to at least wait six months. Laci was sad and tried to pep me up. I felt like such a failure. It was my first time getting pregnant and I lost the baby so fast.
I pretty much stayed in bed and came down to eat while everyone was gone to school and work. The kids understood. Poor Nicolas just hugged me lightly and told me that he was sorry. Darius and Dominica came and told me that they both decided to go to college. They applied for grants and each received $1,000. I hate to think that they are going to get loans to start their young adult life.
Now that the kids are growing up I think about marriage a lot. I wonder if I did not or am not sending the wrong message by not marrying Laci. Trust me we are fine without the paper saying that were "married" but still. Now with my miscarriage im thinking about proposing.
Laci planned a party to wish the twins, Darius and Dominica, a farewell. She also told me that Asia said she needed to see me to make sure that everything was going well with me. I didnt want her to see me like this but I cant turn her away.
Asia came over and gave me a hug and I just started crying. I had all this pent up emotion that I did not know what to do with. She hugged me and told me that everything would be OK. It felt good to hug my twin. No matter how much I discuss this I feel that only she can get me. Laci doesn't understand it but with us having two sets of twins on our own she is starting to get the hang of it.
During dinner we discussed our lives and the news of all of our family. We ran down the list: Miguel was fine with little Victor and Kea. Atani was good with her twins, Suki was enjoying her baby and Ariel well she was the only one we havent seen. After her college graduation she choose to move downtown and live there. I still think that living that far away from Viramontes was not a good idea but how could we stop her from doing it?
My kids are great kids and I thank god everyday for them. the other day as I was reading a book I overheard Darius telling Sasha and Nicolas that they would have to take care of Laci and me while they were gone. I couldnt believe what I was hearing. I was proud that my son, Darius was so considerate. I looked at them and remembered like it was yesterday how I held each one of them in my arms.
The night of the graduation/college party for Darius and Dominica I felt so depressed. Laci came in and told me that I had to show up for the kids and the family. I did not really want to but then I knew she was right. What would my family say if I didnt even show up to their party.
Laci hugged me not caring that she would get wet with the bubbles, " You know I love you and everything is going to be OK. We can try to get pregnant again. Baby if you need someone to talk to...well we can"
"Laci..I know it will be OK. Your right, I will get ready and try to put one foot in front of the other. I will see the twins off. Ill be right down OK"
Even though Dominica does not tell us, I can see that she is holding a torch for a college freshman named, Kampol Do. Apparently they have been seeing each other as "friends" but I think its more than that. He goes to the college where they are accepted. Hopefully Dominica will concentrate on her books and not major in a PhD on Mr. Kampol.
The party was successful. Everyone came out and had fun talking with each other. It had been a long time since the party was reunited this way. It was good having everyone here to wish Darius and Dominica farewell.
Before long everyone left including my first born. I hugged Dominica and Darius. I whispered in Darius' ear that everything would be OK. I made them promise to take care of each other.
Once everything was cleaned up and the kids put to sleep I went up to see Laci. She was concentrating on a game of chess and when she looked up she said, "im proud of you. I know it was hard socializing with everyone but thank you. It meant a lot to Dominica and Darius"
"Hmm it didnt mean a lot only to them. It meant a lot to me to show my family that im strong. Are you going to be long or y ou coming to bed?"
"Im going to play this for a little while? Why did you need something?"
"Just you"
I still had my old touch because Laci and I made love that night just like we did when we moved in together. It felt great being with her and realizing that I love her more now than ever.
Several months later......................................................
I guess I was so relaxed that I got pregnant without thinking about it. Now I am taking extra careful with this pregnancy. I am reading all the books and I am taking time off of work. Im still in my second trimester but I don't want to take any chances.
I am also napping a lot more. With this pregnancy I am much sleepier than I was with the last one. Laci says that this is a good sign but I am not sure. I am still scared of losing another baby. Hopefully all will go smoothly.
Authors note:
I did not plan on Africa losing her baby. She made love with Laci and I guess her hunger level went too low. Before I knew it she got up and miscarried. Her current pregnancy was a complete surprise. During the party I heard Chimes and I was surprised. I have ACR but never had an actual pregnancy occur with out me initiating it. Either way I am glad she is having this baby **fingers crossed**
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